For all we dread the treadmill, they’ve made some serious leaps and bounds over the years. It wasn’t long ago that cardio equipment didn’t come with iPod chargers, fancy heart rate settings or that hide-saving emergency shut-off feature.
Things could be a lot worse—especially when you look to the exercise machines of yesteryear. Let’s take a look at those ever-revered treadmills first, while we’re at it.
These classic treadmill models were all (wo)manpower, no electricity. Alternately pushing and pulling the levers on either side would drive the “tread” (though you wonder how those worn wooden slats do for traction) behind you, and naturally, you’d walk to keep up with it. For a steeper incline, I suppose you just slide bricks under the front end.
The Gymno Frame was a novel machine designed for a range of different—and supposedly beneficial—exercises, such as “the cartwheel, backward and forward [somersault], cradle, figure eight [and] dorsal spin.” Here it is in a demonstration for Arsenal’s soccer team circa 1932.
Vibrating belt machines promised to melt your belly fat away with out all the pesky sweat and work associated with regular exercise. That’s not the way fat loss works, of course—there’s no such thing as spot fat loss—and all practical uses of the so-called “fat belt” have been disproven.
The terrifying Molby Revolving Hammock promised a “full chest and a small waist” in addition to a supple spine, despite looking like it may actually break your back and/or turn you into a hammock. There isn’t much info on how the device works, but going off its name, it probably spun its victims into a delirious state, tricking them into thinking they had straighter backs, smaller waists and suddenly acute telekinetic abilities.
Perhaps the takeaway here is maybe not how far we’ve come, but how susceptible exercise culture is to fads and novelty. We’re always looking for the next new-and-improved way to better our bodies. Sometimes, a new “advance” might turn out to be the real thing, or provide a newfound convenience, as was the case with the treadmill. But more often than not, it’s just another way of doing the same four movements: pushing, pulling, torquing and squats.
There is something to be said for mixing it up, of course. But if someone tries to sell you on one of those revolving hammocks, run.
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